picture this: 12 years old, glasses, first set of braces just screwed on and a case of atheletes foot that just won't go! It's Halloween night and my best friend has set me up with his girlfriend's girlfriend - Selina. We're walking to Echo park talking shit, when a car pulls up full of teenagers. They shout out the window: "Hey, guess what we got???" and then proceed to cover us in eggs . . . great.
By the time we show up at the bonfire in the park, my clothes are so stained and stiff that I look like I've been playing with myself all day. Selina was nice and listened sympathetically to the explanation for my sorry sartorial state but then drew the line when my braces cut her lips during our first kiss . . . I never saw her again.